🇺🇸 Introduction: God often answers with “no”
God promises many times to answer prayer.
Jeremiah 33,3: “Call to me and I might answer you.” Is that it? No! “Call to me and I will answer you.”
Circle “will”. No “might”, not “if I’m in a good mood”. God answers every single prayer. Not always the way you want! But he always answers. No is an answer. Wait is an answer. Grow up is an answer. In my way is an answer. Every prayer is answered! It doesn’t mean he always answers “yes”. There are many examples in the Bible: Moses, Peter, and Isaiah… even Jesus! You’re going to have many “no” in your life.
It can be frustrating. If God is good and he can do it, why doesn’t he do it? Why do some people get relief and some others don’t? Why do some people get the baby they are asking for, and some others don’t?
Some things are mysteries, some are not.
For example, if two people ask for opposite things, God can’t answer “yes” to both. Imagine if 2 football teams pray for victory. Only one can win.
Also, to answer “yes” to some prayers, God would have to remove free will. You cannot go to someone “I’m praying God so that he forces you into marrying me”. God doesn’t force anybody to do anything. He doesn’t even force us to do the good things.
Also when you pray for sick people. If everybody you pray for doesn’t die, none of us would die. And we aren’t meant to live on this planet forever! We are made to live forever! Just not here. There are war, diseases, sex abuses, sadness… I don’t want to live here forever! I want to live forever. Just not here. There is nothing shocking in it. We are all going to die at some point… but so that we can live forever.
I. Don’t try to explain what you can’t
But sometimes, it’s just unexplainable. It makes no sense! It’s heart-breaking! And you’re like “I don’t get it!”. And that’s the greatest test of faith in your life. So I just want to give you a few reasons why God might say no. There are probably thousands. Legitimate reasons. Then I would like to share you what to do. But before I tell them, a warning: Use these to comfort yourself, but never use them with somebody in pain, because you don’t know why God said “no” to them. Understanding why doesn’t help.
That’s the story of Job. When you read the story of the first day where he looses everything, well, that’s what you call a bad day. At first the friends do the right thing: they come and sit with him. They show up and shut up. Don’t say anything! Be there and shut up. Then they try to explain. And they just make it worse. And they get it all wrong. God reproaches it to them in Job 42,7. This verse is comforting, because Job spends almost all the book complaining! It’s okay to complain. It’s not okay to give false explanations.
II. Three reasons why God says “no”
1) God says “no” when he has a bigger perspective
He can see what you can’t. God has the whole picture, you don’t. God knows the future, you don’t.
He 4, 13: Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight.
Everyone, everything, everywhere. We have a limited perspective. And therefore we don’t see the unwanted consequences. If you could see your life the way God does, would you pray differently? Yes. If you could see your life the way God does, would it solve some of your problems. Of course.
No parent give their children everything they ask for! It would destroy them! And sometimes they say “no” because they know what the child doesn’t know yet.
Sometimes God says no to protect you from something you can’t see.
Proverbs 2, 8: He guards the paths of the just and protects those who are faithful to him
He may live you in the place of the pain but prevent you from being hurt.
Do you remember the story of Daniel? He is about to be sent to the lions, and asks God to deliver him, and God says no. He puts him in, and shuts the lion mouth. Better story!
Remember the story of the three Hebrews and the furnace. They asked to stay out of it, and God says no. They get in but don’t get burnt, and the ropes are burnt off. Sometimes you say “God don’t let me get through this”. And God answers “You are going to get through it. But when you come out on the other side, you will be free. And it wouldn’t happen unless for the fire.”
Paul, who wrote half the New Testament, his deepest desire was to go to Rome and preach the good news. Because Rome was the centre of the world at that time. Paul’s idea of “going to Rome” would be something like “I go to Rome, I rent the Colosseum, and have ‘Paul giant crusade’”. God said no to that. But yes to going to Rome. Paul went to Rome, but he went in chains as a prisoner. While he is in cell – instead of the Colosseum – he decides to write a few letters, which eventually become the New Testament. Which do you think has greater effect? Paul’s plan, or God’s plan? God had a bigger perspective. And Paul would be: “Why? You keep me from doing what I’m good at! I’m good at preaching!”
2) God says “no” when he has a better plan
Sometimes, God says “I intend to answer your prayer, but not in the way you thought”.
Is 55, 8-9 : For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.
Notice the plural: ways. God options are unlimited. He is never forced to do it in a certain way. God doesn’t do things in the easiest way, because he wants you to grow. God is more interested in your character than he is in your comfort. So he want to answers, but so that you grow up.
And the way that makes your faith grow up sometimes require delay. God is not a vending machine, he is not your genie. Because it wouldn’t make you grow. So he tells you “slow, until you grow”. In the Bible, many of the greatest people didn’t get what they were promised before they die. This blows out the whole prosperity thing!
He 11,39-40: These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised, since God had planned something better for us so that.
Remember this: God has all of eternity to fulfil His promises. God is not limited by your 80 years on Earth!
If you are honest, you will reckon you are glad God didn’t answer some of your prayers. [Personal examples] “Thank God for unanswered prayers.”
3) God says “no” when he has a greater purpose
God has a purpose for your life. And God will never let you interfere with your purpose with your prayers.
Ps 57, 2: I cry out to God Most High, to God, who vindicates me
God doesn’t have to explain you everything he does. He doesn’t owe you an explanation! God does everything for a purpose. And even tough and hard things can enter this.
1 P 1, 7: Your faith will be like gold that has been tested in a fire
So when you are discouraged, remind yourself that God has a greater purpose for your life.
2 Co 4,17-18: For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal
As your pastor I tell this to you. You have to learn 3 things:
There are some things in life you won’t understand until you get to heaven. But you don’t need an explanation to be happy, you need the presence of God.
Some things in your life will never change. Until you get to heaven. If you lost your arm, it’s never ever coming back – until heaven – because we are in a broken world. And in this broken world, God wants us to learn to trust him.
Sometimes, you are going to suffer for the benefit of others. That’s called redemptive suffering. I’ve thought this week of all the ministries in Saddleback that started because of unanswered prayers: baby, removal of addiction… Do not waste your pain. It’s true of God Himself, of his own Son! And therefore, when he does it, you are most like Christ in this moment. It’s not fun, it’s not easy, but you grow up.
What to do when God says no
1) Trust that God does everything in goodness and love
Everything God does is for your own good and because he loves you (Ps 25, 10). God never does anything bad.
Rm 8, 28: And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.
You need to remember this. Because when God says “no”, Satan shoots darts of doubt: “God doesn’t love you”, “God doesn’t care”. Satan is a liar.
Write this down: I don’t have to understand God’s answer to know that it is motivated by love. God loves you too much to say “yes” to everything.
When God says “no”, you have three options: resist it, resent it, relax in it. And you can only relax if you have faith in God’s love for you.
2) When in pain, pray what Jesus prayed facing the Cross
In the Mount of Olives, Gethsemane.
Mc 14, 35-36: Going a little farther, he fell to the ground and prayed that if possible the hour might pass from him. “Abba, Father,” he said, “everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will.”
You can say “I don’t want to go through this!” It’s not a lack of faith!
a) Affirm God’s power. I know you can do anything!
b) Ask with passion. Please, give me what I ask! And sometimes he will.
c) Accept God’s plan. What I want even more than that is you, your plan, your perspective, your purpose.
3) Expect God to give his grace to handle his answer
In 2 Corinthians 12:8–10, Paul speaks of a “thorn in the flesh” that caused him deep suffering, which he asked God three times to remove. God responds that His grace is sufficient, teaching Paul that divine strength is made perfect in human weakness. As a result, Paul learns to accept his weakness so that Christ’s power may dwell in him.
Conclusion
So what have you been praying for lately? That hasn’t happened? As your pastor, it breaks my heart when some prayers are not answered. But I have to tell you: God has a bigger perspective. He has a better plan, it’s not the end of the story. Because he loves you. Right now, God is working on you, he his giving you his grace.
Ps 9, 10: Those who know your name trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you.
If you don’t trust God when he says “no”, then you don’t really know him yet. And you can get to know him, starting today.