Affectivité et sexualité

Study : couples talk  and have an argument. Some couples go into a "fight or flight mode" (stress), other are at calm. Only the second have lasting relationships.

If you are always on alert, you kill the relationship. You need trust. How do you build that ?

Study : Build is built over a series of benine moments.

4 ways to react when the other comes home and wants to share something (bad experience). Active-destructive (it's your fault), passive-destructive (I don't care, and begin talking about something else), passive-constructive (too bad - and move on), active-constructive (oh, tell me more - écoute active).

Only couples using the 4th 90% of the time build healthy relationships.

So it's not heroic. Everyday kindness builds trust.

Envy is sadness at the blessings of another

I'm sad because you are happy, or I'm happy because you are sad

It's a silly sin ! Brings you sadness immediatly !

Makes you blind at your own blessings ! The abundance of blessings in your own life. You see lack where there is abundance.

Solution : gratitude ! Look at your own blessings !

Because someone has something does not mean I have less. It does not take anything from you.

Better solution : God ! He reminds you of your goodness. Place yourself under the gaze of God. I gave my son for you !

How do you do that ?

We have people in our lives that are easy to love (they charge our love batteries), and some who are hard to love (they drink the battery)

Tip 1 : Identify this, understand what is going one - and it doesn't imply any judgement on the persone herself. This person is easy to love for me (doesn't mean I'm a good lover), this one is hard.

Jesus asks us to love not only our friends, but the people that are hard to love. Enemies, but also : annoying, get under our skin, they are how we wouldn't want them to be.

Tip 2 : I can't give what I don't have. I need to be loved first. (1 Jn : God loved us first) "I have been definitely loved" (Ste Bakhita)

Tip 3 : Love is a one-way street. Relationship is a two-way street. Love is willing the good of the other (says nothing about the love of the other person for me !). Implies to build bounderies. I'm here for your good, but I'm not your doormat. There are bounderies.